...iona

Please start reading Mistress Iona's blog. www.mistressiona.blogspot.com. Her interests include entomology and etymology.

...playmates

I know, I know. I haven't posted for a while. (Not that I think I have a legion of fans who log on to my site each day to see if it's been updated.) Anyway: I'm going to take advantage of the extra hour we have today, and write a new post. Hurrah, I hear you say!

There's something I want to talk about.

That something is the scores of men who lament the difficulties in finding a willing spanking partner. Log onto any spanking forum (BS, IC, ITC, whatever) and you'll find posts from men complaining of the lack of willing female participants. ITC's the worst; I remember reading a post from one anonymous spanko who felt that no woman in the world would let a man spank her, and that the only way to get some hand-to-buttock action is by paying.

Here are my 8 tips for men who are looking:

1. Just because a woman's into spanking doesn't mean she wants to be spanked by you. Male spankos presume that if a woman's into spanking then that woman is going to want to be spanked by him. This seems a common misconception. In the vanilla world, if you meet a woman who enjoys sex, as many do, then does that mean she's interested in having sex with you?

2. You have to put as much time and effort into meeting a spanking partner as you would a vanilla partner. If you put a two-line ad on a vanilla dating site - for instance,"37-year-old male looking for an attractive and intelligent woman to have sex with" - do you think it would generate much response? It's exactly the same for a two-line ad on a spanking site.

3. Most of the vanilla rules apply to spanking. So: be clean; have pride in your appearance; be interesting; be honest (if you're married, and looking for spanking fun without LTR, then do the decent thing and say so); be also honest about your level of experience.

4. Confidence. The most important thing: confidence. Everything else - your body language, how you speak, what you say, your general aura - will be fine if you have inner confidence. Don't be afraid to invest in a self-help book if you severely lack confidence.

5. Being a sub does not mean being a wimp. (This is for male subs.) Being a sub is not the same as being a wimp. Women don't like wimps. Period. It's true. If you're male, and think women are attracted to wimps, you need to get a sheet of paper and write "women are not attracted to wimps" a thousand times. That's your punishment, slaveboy. You should choose to submit and have your bottom smacked, because you're a strong man who has chosen to give the gift of submission to a woman.

6. Show you have at least some idea of what you're looking for. Writing "looks and age unimportant" doesn't bode particularly well on yourself - nor on any potential respondents. Show that at least you have some standards. Looks and age may be unimportant, but surely there are some things you'd like to see in any respondent - even if those things are simply a GSOH and a genuine love of spanking.

7. Don't neglect the vanilla world. It is possible to meet spanking partners through vanilla channels. Don't restrict yourself to the spanking scene. You can build a relationship of trust with someone, let them know you're into spanking and they may end up being into it themselves. There are lots of women who haven't yet found out they like spanking. Even if a woman you meet is not an out-and-out spanko, she may be willing to listen to and fulfil your needs if you, in return, listen to and fulfil her needs too.

8. You won't meet a spanking partner at a commercial party. (Well, actually you might, but it's very unlikely.) You may meet a professional with whom you get on with and can enjoy commercial one-to-ones for a fee.

If you follow these rules you shouldn't end up like my friend Russ Trayshun.